Straight dope from Fake Steve Jobs | Newsmakers | CNET News.com
Since we’re talking about big figures from your past, I’m curious: You were kind of harsh in your Woz post. Why no love for the Woz? I mean, did he really have to wait in line?
Fake Steve: Look, Woz is a nice enough guy. He didn’t need to wait in line. That’s the big misimpression. We gave him an iPhone early last week. Two of them, in fact. Then he shows up at the store as if we didn’t. He’s looking for attention, OK? And he likes to play the martyr. Frankly, I think Woz should go do some work. Start a company or something. He’s too young to be just hanging out doing nothing and dining out on his glory days. Also, just remember: Woz didn’t want to quit his job at HP to start Apple. Are you aware of that? I had to twist his arm, the big dope. His dad told him he should stay at HP and that I was a scumbag. Dumbass Woz. He’d still be at HP, or probably he’d have been laid off by now, if I hadn’t saved him. He’d be living in some ranch house in Mountain View, driving a (crappy) car, complaining about the house prices in the Bay Area.
What’s scary is that last sentence sounds like me.