Tweets

Every time I see Ryan Seacrest during the Olympics, I feel nauseous.

Would like LEGO Sarlacc for next Star Wars set http://t.co/xd35eshH

Forget spending time on college, Berkshire Hathaway and Microsoft should sponsor Ariel Hsing for 2016 http://t.co/Y2ICFbov

I think the TV in the prison may have contributed to India’s recent power outages. http://t.co/2zGZMVVE

“That is so different from what my book actually says that I have to doubt whether Mr. Romney read it.” http://t.co/gP3ZeB5e

Replace ScarJo with McKayla Maroney for Avengers 2 and then you’ll have a believable Black Widow.

Thankful for Olympic badminton for giving me a reason to explain match fixing to the kids. http://t.co/IpOT1jrv

Have to stop drinking Murphy’s Stout so I don’t keep falling asleep halfway through the night’s Olympic broadcast.

Surprised that tonight was the first time I realized the irony of Sheldon Adelson’s support and Romney’s Mormon faith http://t.co/sH2zBezp

Yes, the new Apple ads are sucktastic. The Apple Genius Guy appears to be the know it all offspring of the Dell Dude.